I had my one and only trip to Schlitterbahn this season. Here are a few observations:
– 90 percent of the tattoos on display are not recognizable. That’s not a shot at people who have tattoos, but I’m just telling you folks that most of us can’t tell your butterfly, from a sunflower, or from any other random piece of art. By the way, flames on your leg or tribal tattoos on your arm rarely look as cool as you think. That’s not my opinion. I think the world pretty much agrees on that.
– Don’t ever worry about how you look in a swimsuit. I don’t think this is an exaggeration. 98 percent of people DON’T look great in a swimsuit (that number may be higher if you take out all people ages 18 to 25). What are you worried about? Let it all hang out, and have a good time!
– Speaking of letting things hang out, props to the grandma wearing a strapless swimsuit today. She was carrying her toddler grandchild, when the tyke grabbed hold of her top and pulled it completely down. Yes, they were both on full display. Once my brain registered what I was looking at, I was a gentleman and turned away. I think grandma handled it about as gracefully as possible, and never dropped the kid. That’s talent!
– Schlitterbahn proves every year that people are by and large honest. Stuff is left unattended everywhere, and typically it’s left alone. I know, I know, that’s not always the case, but the track record there is pretty good. Get a locker if you’re really worried.